Rise of the Douche Savant

Millions love Elon Musk for all the wrong reasons

Mookie Spitz
2 min readJul 12, 2022


Elon Musk reminds me of this incredible guitarist and shy narcissist from high school we worshipped.

Carl would literally leap out of bed every morning, his day planned and activated before he even got vertical.

By age 15 he was the best guitar player anyone had ever seen. He precisely learned every lick from every song.

When asked how he did it, Carl just shrugged, gave the impression he was a natural, it all came to him easily.

We sensed raw talent alone couldn’t create this machine. The guy had to shred all day and night long.

Musk similarly blinds us with his bullshit for the infantile sake of his pointless self-aggrandizement.

Elon smokes weed, fucks starlets, tweets memes, and plays video games, leaving no time for anything else.

Yeah, right. All he’s actually trying to do is show how easy the hard stuff is for him. He’s a born genius.

Carl got triggered and smashed his guitar at a gig, went on to get advanced degrees in math and law.

Elon continues frothing at the mouth and keyboard, unable to contain his asperger’s self.

Richest man in the world, he needs to constantly remind everyone what a brilliant badass he thinks he is.

The sad part is he is one. Warren Buffet said it takes 20 years to build a reputation, 20 seconds to ruin it.

SpaceX lands rockets! Elon fucks Amber Heard… Tesla becomes profitable! Elon buys Twitter…

Trying to be Tony Stark, Musk instead looks like Robert Downey, Jr wandering through people’s yards.

The saddest part is that millions of fan boys and girls think his adolescent shenanigans are cool.

People must hate the government, liberals, and basic propriety so much that they love this douche.

I agree: The only thing harder than revolutionizing the auto industry is space travel. He’s done both.

That should be more than enough to appease an insecure savant and his sycophants, but obviously isn’t.

Strongarm assholes are adored. Chavez or Trump — commie or fascist, the ideology doesn’t matter.

The saddest aspect of all is that Musk, like our high school pal Carl, has drive and prodigious talent.

I wish Elon would STFU and keep building things. Instead he demeans himself and his work.

The world needs a cool, level-headed genius. Nikola Tesla comes to mind as a role model. How ironic.

#rockon #growup #unfuckyourself



Mookie Spitz

Chicago native now in New York City by way of LA. Hungarian parents, Korean kids, racks of electric guitars, shelves of Rubik's Cubes, and mountains of LEGO.