Part 2: Super Santa
Our original screenplay that drove an illustrated novel trilogy
This is Part 2 of a two-part screenplay. If you haven’t read Part 1 yet, click here. Othewise continue reading below…
INT — INSIDE SUPER-SLEIGH
ELF steers, his head barely above the dash.
EMILY hangs on, her hair flowing wildly behind her.
EMILY
Where to now?
ELF
We’re taking you home.
EMILY
No, we need to help Santa!
ELF
I’m sorry, but that was Santa’s wish.
Afterburners flare, SUPER-SLEIGH roars across the sky.
EXT — ABOVE SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD, LATE NIGHT
Cheerful holiday music can be heard below, heightening the melancholy of ELF and EMILY, who fly off into the distance.
EXT — INTERSTATE HIGHWAY
ELF steers the SUPER-SLEIGH along the highway.
DRIVER gives “thumbs up” as ELF and EMILY zoom off at high speed, past the same HIGHWAY PATROL MOTORCYCLE behind a billboard.
PATROL OFFICER
(looking at radar gun)
Whoa!
CLOSE UP of radar gun showing “222 mph.”
HIGHWAY PATROL MOTORCYCLE with siren blaring takes off after the SUPER-SLEIGH.
ELF sees him in rearview mirror and pulls to the side.
Tough guy PATROL OFFICER struts up.
PATROL OFFICER
(opening ticket pad)
Hey, you’re not Santa Claus! Let me see your license.
ELF
I must have left it at home.
PATROL OFFICER
Get out of the… the…
(pulls gun)
Put your hands up!
EMILY
We don’t have time. We have to go save Santa!
EXT — INSIDE SUPER-SLEIGH
EMILY hits a switch, and the jet engines roar into action, propelling the SUPER-SLEIGH up and off at blinding speed.
PATROL OFFICER jumps out of the flaming wake and onto his bike. With siren blaring he’s after them and on the radio.
EXT — INSIDE SUPER-SLEIGH
ELF sees a police barricade looming ahead.
ELF
They’ve blocked the freeway!
EMILY helps with the controls, trying to gain altitude.
EMILY
What about this button?
EMILY pushes it and the SUPER-SLEIGH roars up into the sky.
POV of rearview mirror showing two JET FIGHTERS on their tail.
ELF
Oh, oh!
EMILY
I’ll distract them, you change course!
EMILY lifts a bag and dumps the presents over the side, forcing the JET FIGHTERS to perform evasive maneuvers.
HEADING SOUTH
They fly past San Diego and south to the Mexican border.
EXT — BORDER TOWN, LATER THAT NIGHT
A few adobe homes, a couple burros snoozing.
Residents rush out to see the SUPER-SLEIGH continue south as the two JET FIGHTERS break formation and head back to the States.
EXT — INSIDE SUPER-SLEIGH
ELF slows the craft down slightly, stabilizing the flight.
EMILY
What next?
ELF
I know someone down here who might be able to help us…
Flying candy canes suddenly zip by the SUPER-SLEIGH, several of them striking it, shaking the ride a bit.
BOOMING VOICE (V.O.)
Andale! Andale!
ELF
I think that’s him.
EMILY peers over the side and sees a large cart, being flown through the air by nine FLYING BURROS.
EMILY
Oh, my, god.
EMILY ducks as more candy canes come flying by, a few making contact.
EMILY picks up a piece, and bites on it.
EXT — INSIDE FLYING BURRO CART
PAPÁ NOEL is a rotund Mexican old man with a gigantic handlebar mustache, enormous sombrero, red and white poncho, and ammo belts of candy canes instead of bullets.
EXT — OUTSIDE PAPÁ NOEL’S HACIENDA, SOMEWHERE IN MEXICO
MEXICAN ELVES, wearing sombreros and ponchos, examine the SUPER-SLEIGH parked in front of the huge stucco building.
INT — PAPÁ NOEL’S HACIENDA
MARIACHI ELF BAND plays Mexican Christmas favorites as PAPÁ NOEL sits with ELF and EMILY, eating enchiladas.
ELF
Wow, this is really spicy!
PAPÁ NOEL
Your gringo Santa Claus was always loco. So I wasn’t surprised when he started wearing those weird ropas and moved to Beverly Hills.
EMILY
Santa and the Superheroes are in danger!
PAPÁ NOEL
Is not my job, man.
EMILY
We have to save Christmas!
PAPÁ NOEL
Last time I took my elf hombres up North, we got busted by immigration, comprende?
Several MEXICAN ELVES look their way, nod in agreement.
ELF
We’re afraid for his safety, Papa. Anything you and your elves could do would be much appreciated.
MARIACHI ELF BAND starts to play “White Christmas,” visibly moving PAPÁ NOEL, who cocks both pistols in agreement.
PAPÁ NOEL
OK! I will help! But we cannot do this alone. First, we must assemble more Santas. We must create…
(standing, waving)
“Team Santa”!
EMILY
“Team Santa”? How many of you guys are there?
INSERT of “INDIANA JONES” style animation, showing SUPER-SLEIGH flying from Somewhere In Mexico, across the Gulf, into the Caribbean, and toward Jamaica.
EXT — REGGAE CONCERT, SOMEWHERE IN JAMAICA
RASTA ELVES dance to reggae music.
PAN to RASTA SANTA, an older Jamaican man with a big dreadlock beard, wearing a knitted rainbow hat, smoking a large pipe.
PAPÁ NOEL joins them, and RASTA SANTA gives him a big hug. They chat for a few, and together meet ELF and EMILY.
RASTA SANTA
Merry Christmas mon, yah.
EMILY
Will you help us?
RASTA SANTA
Your Santa has gone Hollywood Way, mon, yah. Everything’s gonna be all right, ha, ha!
INSERT of “INDIANA JONES” style animation shows SUPER-SLEIGH flying from Jamaica across the Atlantic Ocean to France.
EXT — PARIS, ALONG THE SEINE, NIGHT
PERE NOEL and FEMALE FRENCH ELVES sit in a café with ELF and EMILY.
PAPÁ NOEL and RASTA SANTA flirt with the ELVES.
PERE NOEL
No, no, NO. How many times do I have to zay, “No!”
EMILY
But why?
PERE NOEL
Why? Why?? Your Santa Clauz, he haz no style! This is Paris! C’est magnifique!
EMILY
Are you kidding me? It’s about saving Santa! It’s about saving Christmas!
ELF gets another ELF idea.
ELF
(saluting)
La resistance!
PERE NOEL
(eyes wide)
La resistance!
EMILY
La resistance!
INSERT of “INDIANA JONES” style animation shows SUPER-SLEIGH flying across Europe, the Middle East, China, to Japan.
INT — TEMPLE TRAINING AREA, SOMEWHERE IN JAPAN
POV as SAMURAI SANTA does a flying kick, headed straight for the camera.
Block of wood shatters as SAMURAI SANTA lands. He’s a rotund, older Japanese man, with a white pony tail, white bushy eyebrows, and a long curled beard and mustache.
RASTA SANTA
I will not mess with you, mon, no way.
SAMURAI SANTA bows.
NINJA ELVES rush out from all directions, and start engaging all the members of TEAM SANTA in practice sparing.
Within seconds the TEAM is backed into a corner.
SAMURAI SANTA mumbles in Japanese.
ELF
Sure, bring everybody. We need all the help we can get.
All the NINJA ELVES bow.
INSERT of “INDIANA JONES” style animation shows the SUPER-SLEIGH flying back across Asia and up to Finland.
INT — SIMPLE WOOD HOUSE IN A VILLAGE, SOMEWHERE IN FINLAND
Father Christmas himself, JOULUPUKKI walks to the front of the house, followed by TEAM SANTA entourage, many of them shivering from their journey through the freezing tundra.
PAPÁ NOEL
Dios mio, it’s cold here!
ELF points up to the small chimney, gesturing to JOULUPUKKI, who shakes his head, knocks on the door.
Moments later the door swings open and kids of various ages come rushing out, embracing JOULUPUKKI who hugs them, lifts the little ones into the air, and exudes the purest spirit.
TEAM SANTA stand in the snow in a panoramic shot, all in awe at the spectacle of such pure love and joy.
One of the numerous NINJA ELVES strikes a battle pose and shrieks a war cry, but is immediately silenced by SAMURAI SANTA who, without even looking, smacks him into silence.
TEAM SANTA and JOULUPUKKI walk to the SUPER-SLEIGH. JOULUPUKKI takes one look, and shakes his head.
JOULUPUKKI whistles and moments later RUDOLF flies JOULUPUKKI’S SLEIGH over to them, JOULUPUKKI gesturing: “Get in.”
RASTA SANTA
That’s one bitchin ride mon, yah.
TEAM SANTA stands in awe of the simple yet gorgeous SLEIGH.
INSERT of “INDIANA JONES” style animation shows JOULUPUKKI’S SLEIGH flying from Finland, across Europe and the Atlantic Ocean, then through the U.S. toward Southern California.
INT — BEVERLY HILLS MANSION, SECRET ROOM BENEATH BEDROOM
CLOSE UP of SUPERHERO-SANTA lying unconscious in a dark area.
NANOGAL kneels beside him, nudging him gently.
SUPERHERO-SANTA stirs slightly. As he awakens lights come on.
PULL BACK reveals a large, cavernous room with SUPERHERO-SANTA and NANO-GAL locked inside a rusty steel cage suspended above a darkened floor.
A closed door is off in the distance.
SUPERHERO-SANTA
Where are we?
NANO-GAL
This is the prison where we used to lock MediaFrenzy.
SUPERHERO-SANTA
Where’s Mr. Astonishing?
NANO-GAL
Have faith. I’m sure he’ll come and save us.
Sounds of gears grinding as a mechanical bridge begins to extend from the doorway in the distance.
MEDIAFRENZY enters from the darkness, menacingly walking up the long bridge with his television monitor tentacles writhing and the screens flashing chaotic, diabolical IMAGES.
SUPERHERO-SANTA
Fiend! What have you done with Mr. Astonishing?
Tentacles taunt SUPERHERO-SANTA with IMAGES, one featuring MR. ASTONISHING laughing at him.
Tentacle with IMAGE moves to one side, revealing the actual MR. ASTONISHING opening a panel and physically walking out of MEDIAFRENZY.
MR. ASTONISHING
Merry Christmas, Superheroes.
EXT — BEVERLY HILLS NEIGHBORHOOD, BLOCK AWAY FROM MANSION
JOULUPUKKI’S-SLEIGH parked on side of a residential street.
EXT — BEVERLY HILLS MANSION, BACKYARD
NINJA ELVES sneak into the spacious backyard, giving each other hand signals as they dart about, casing the joint.
NINJA ELVES then work their way through bushes, whistling to TEAM SANTA who follows with less grace and much noise.
NINJA ELVES then toss an inflatable beach raft into the pool, leap on it, and row themselves to the other side, again whistling for TEAM SANTA to join them.
INTERNATIONAL SANTAS (except for a missing JOULUPUKKI) tumble into the pool then wade across like soldiers through a jungle river.
EMILY walks around the pool.
INT — BEVERLY HILLS MANSION, BACK DOOR AREA
NINJA ELVES enter the mansion through the doggie door then leap on top of each other, the uppermost one unlocking the back door, turning the door knob, and letting the rest in.
TEAM SANTA enters mansion, closing the door behind them. As they get their bearings they notice JOULUPUKKI already standing in the kitchen, making tea, the front door open.
PERE NOEL
(opening refrigerator)
No escargot? No boulette d’avesnes? No pate? No vonder Santa is in trouble!
RASTA SANTA
Nice crib mon, yah.
INT — BEVERLY HILLS MANSION, SECRET ROOM BENEATH BEDROOM
SUPERHERO-SANTA and NANO-GAL in the suspended cage, gaping at MR. ASTONISHING, who has just walked out of MEDIAFRENZY.
SUPERHERO-SANTA
Mr. Astonishing?!
MR. ASTONISHING
The one and only.
NANO-GAL
That was you?
SUPERHERO-SANTA
I thought MediaFrenzy was our enemy!
MR. ASTONISHING
Only on screen, old boy. What’s a good guy without a bad guy? We even have the same agent.
SUPERHERO-SANTA
What do you want from me?
MR. ASTONISHING
I granted you your wish, and now, in return, you will grant me mine.
SUPERHERO-SANTA
I can’t do that.
MR. ASTONISHING
Can’t? — Or won’t?
SUPERHERO-SANTA
I’ve already told you: Only good kids have their wishes come true.
MR. ASTONISHING
You don’t even know what I want!
SUPERHERO-SANTA
It doesn’t matter. You are evil. Let us go!
MR. ASTONISHING
I’ve been bad? Look at you, memory of a fly, not even remembering when the kids were laughing at you? When I took you in and saved you? And now you break your promise?
SUPERHERO-SANTA
What promise? We were never any superheroes. We never helped any kids, we never fought any villains.
MR. ASTONISHING
You want a battle, old boy? Then let me give you one.
MR. ASTONISHING lifts what looks like a game controller, and works the buttons.
The floor beneath the cage starts to open, revealing a pool of boiling lava.
MR. ASTONISHING (con’t)
Last chance, old boy.
SUPERHERO-SANTA
No. Never.
MR. ASTONISHING
As you… wish.
MR. ASTONISHING presses another button on the controller, and the rusty cage starts to descend toward the lava.
INT — BEVERLY HILLS MANSION, SUPERHERO-SANTA’S BEDROOM
TEAM SANTA stand in the bedroom, which looks like nothing ever happened there.
EMILY
The floor, right here, it opened up and Santa fell inside!
RASTA SANTA
The girl be seeing the spirit world, mon.
SAMURAI SANTA meditates in yoga position, inhaling deeply.
EMILY
There’s got to be a way inside!
PAPÁ NOEL strikes a table with frustration, opening a panel with blinking lights in the brick wall above the fireplace.
PAPÁ NOEL
Caramba!
PERE NOEL
Zo, vhat do ve do now?
JOULUPUKKI pulls down on a Christmas stocking and takes out a “Mr. Astonishing” video game, looking at it quizzically.
EMILY watches him, her eyes lighting up.
EMILY
I know who can help us!
CLOSE UP of TOMMY being escorted into the room by the NINJA ELVES.
TOMMY looks at the flashing panel above the fire place and smirks. He speaks as he works the code, not even bothering to look at the panel:
TOMMY
You actually discover this code in “Mr. Astonishing XII: The Return of MediaFrenzy.” It’s a bonus for finishing Level 14 in under two minutes, or if you find the superhero plasma gammabooster pack underneath the phase-shifting jet battery recharger, which when plugged into Nano-Gal’s shapeshifting turbines, reveals the final code numbers: seven, six, one.
On “one” TOMMY steps back, and gestures for TEAM SANTA to do the same.
Grinding gears are heard as the floor shakes slightly, and then opens from the middle to reveal a spiral staircase, winding down into the darkness.
TOMMY fearlessly leads the way down into the deep.
TOMMY
(heading down, fading)
Come on, guys! And don’t forget, the electro-pulse beams shoot from several angles, so you’ll have to…
TEAM SANTA watches him, looks at each other then follows.
PAPÁ NOEL points down, and looks at EMILY with admiration.
PAPÁ NOEL
Your brother is muy inteligente.
EMILY
I know.
TEAM SANTA disappears down into the darkness.
As they go, the gears start grinding again, the floor closes shut behind them.
INT — BEVERLY HILLS MANSION, SECRET ROOM UNDERNEATH BEDROOM
NANO-GAL frantically darts about the slowly descending cage, looking for an out.
SUPERHERO-SANTA sits, head down.
NANO-GAL
Come on, Santa. I’ll get you out of here.
SUPERHERO-SANTA
It’s too late for that.
MR. ASTONISHING
Last chance, Santa!
MR. ASTONISHING waits a moment then impatiently extends a MEDIAFRENZY tentacle to her.
MR. ASTONISHING
Santa has made his choice, which is to die. Grab a hold, sister.
NANO-GAL
No! I’m not leaving without him!
MR. ASTONISHING
You put Santa Claus ahead of your own brother?
NANO-GAL
I have to do what’s right. That’s what real superheroes do.
MR. ASTONISHING
Then let me show you what a real villain does…
MR. ASTONISHING tosses the game controller into the lava.
MR. ASTONISHING
Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.
Cage descends toward the lava, getting brighter and hotter.
MR. ASTONISHING turns to leave and walks right into EMILY, standing at the door.
MR. ASTONISHING
What? Hello, little girl.
EMILY
Let Santa go!
MR. ASTONISHING
Get out of my way, small fry.
EMILY
I said: “Let him go!”
MR. ASTONISHING
Or else?
EMILY steps aside, TEAM SANTA surprising MR. ASTONISHING.
MR. ASTONISHING POV as PERE NOEL plays with his mustache.
RASTA SANTA stands smoking his pipe, staring him down.
SAMURAI SANTA strikes a martial pose, ready to attack.
PAPÁ NOEL twirls his candy cane six shooters and points them at MR. ASTONISHING.
EMILY and ELF rush toward MR. ASTONISHING angrily, and JOULUPPUKI pulls them both back to safety.
INT — INSIDE DESCENDING CAGE
NANO-GAL and SUPERHERO-SANTA sweat, the cage near the lava.
NANO-GAL
Look! Who are they?
SUPERHERO-SANTA
They came! My brothers!
BY THE DOOR
ELF walks up to MR. ASTONISHING, and points finger.
ELF
This is your last chance, or you will experience the fury of “Team Santa”!
MR. ASTONISHING looks at the pointing ELF for a moment then bursts out laughing.
MR. ASTONISHING
This is my best Christmas ever!
ELF
Oh, yeah?
(raises arm)
Merry Christmas!
(lowers arm)
Fire!
MR. ASTONISHING is struck with an assortment of Christmas ornaments, high-velocity candy canes, streamers, holiday stockings filled with hard presents, and bursts of confetti, surprising and momentarily disorienting him.
MR. ASTONISHING rapidly recovers, looks at TEAM SANTA with extreme contempt then presses several glowing buttons on an arm panel display.
Lights cascade up his power grid and an ELECTRO-PULSE gun forms out of one of his gadgets.
MR. ASTONISHING
You’ve been very, very naughty, Santas.
MR. ASTONISHING unloads his ELECTRO-PULSE gun on TEAM SANTA, who scatter out of the way of the bright flashes.
INT — INSIDE DESCENDING CAGE
NANO-GAL and SUPERHERO-SANTA lean into the bars, watching.
MR. ASTONISHING keeps unloading on TEAM SANTA, laughing hysterically.
TEAM SANTA takes cover behind some rocks. TOMMY waits a moment then sneaks out from behind them.
EMILY
(whispering)
Tommy! What are you doing?
TOMMY
(whispering)
Trust me…
TOMMY sneaks out and MR. ASTONISHING sees him.
TOMMY breaks into a zigzagging run toward MEDIAFRENZY, as TEAM SANTA takes advantage of this distraction to regroup and attack.
As MR. ASTONISHING and TEAM SANTA go at it, MEDIAFRENZY comes back to life, tentacles darting up.
INT — INSIDE MEDIAFRENZY CABIN
TOMMY is working the controls like an expert.
We see through robot’s eye sockets to the descending cage, NANOGAL and SUPERHERO-SANTA cowering in heat and fear.
MR. ASTONISHING sees what’s going on, aims and blasts the chain holding the cage.
Cage plummets toward the lava, NANO-GAL and SUPERHERO-SANTA hugging each other.
Tentacles grabs the cage the very last second, and carry it over to solid ground.
Cage door flies open, NANO-GAL and SUPERHERO-SANTA running over to join TEAM SANTA.
SUPERHERO-SANTA
My international brothers! How did you get here?
TEAM SANTA all point at EMILY, who shrugs demurely.
SUPERHERO-SANTA beams her a big Santa smile.
MR. ASTONISHING goes wild, blasting away.
TEAM SANTA scatters again, as MEDIAFRENZY takes several direct hits.
EMILY
Tommy!
MEDIAFRENZY falls over the ledge, a single tentacle gripping the edge.
TOMMY climbs out and up, leaping onto solid ground the last second before MEDIAFRENZY vanishes.
TOMMY rushes over to TEAM SANTA.
MR. ASTONISHING now turns his full attention to blasting TEAM SANTA from the rocks.
ELF
(to NANO-GAL)
Do something!
NANO-GAL
What?
ELF
You’re the real superhero.
NANO-GAL
What are you talking about?
ELF
If you can shrink, I bet you can grow!
NANO-GAL
My brother never let me do that.
ELF
Now’s as good a time as any!
MR. ASTONISHING stops firing, looks at the smoldering rocks.
The ground shakes as NANO-GAL starts growing taller and taller, quickly towering over MR. ASTONISHING.
NANO-GAL stops just short of the ceiling, and looks down at him.
MR. ASTONISHING
(looking up)
You aren’t going to hurt your dear old brother, are you now, sis?
Banging sound as MR. ASTONISHING goes flying up and against a far wall, hitting it squarely.
MR. ASTONISHING’S gadgets shatter, and he slides slowly down the wall.
NANO-GAL shrinks down to her standard size and joins TEAM SANTA, who surround MR. ASTONISHING, now sitting in a daze.
EMILY
You’ve been very, very naughty!
PERE NOEL
So vhat do ve do vit him?
PAPÁ NOEL repeatedly strikes left palm with right fist.
SAMURAI SANTA does martial arts poses.
RASTA SANTA blows smoke into MR. ASTONISHING’S face.
JOULUPUKKI gestures to SUPERHERO-SANTA, who walks up to the defeated character.
SUPERHERO-SANTA
Boys, it’s Christmas after all. And Christmas…
(gives MR. ASTONISHING a hand)
…is all about love.
MR. ASTONISHING stands and looks sheepishly at TEAM SANTA.
MR. ASTONISHING
I’m so sorry, old boy. I forgot that it’s all about the kids.
(kneeling, looks at EMILY)
Will you ever forgive me?
EMILY
(thinks a moment)
Oh, all, right.
EMILY walks over, and MR. ASTONISHING puts his arms around her.
TEAM SANTA smiles with approval.
MR. ASTONISHING suddenly squeezes EMILY tight, and rolls to the side and out of the TEAM SANTA circle.
MR. ASTONISHING jumps up and carries EMILY to the edge of the lava pool, and suspends her over it, holding on to her shirt.
TEAM SANTA rushes over, but SUPERHERO-SANTA waves to them to keep their distance.
EMILY looks terrified.
MR. ASTONISHING
How do you think I feel, movie after movie, game after game, portraying a character called “Mr. Astonishing”? When all I am is just some guy who got lucky?
SUPERHERO-SANTA
What are you talking about? You worked hard to become a superhero. You’re every kid’s favorite.
MR. ASTONISHING
Mr. Astonishing is their favorite.
(beat)
I have no special powers. Without my gadgets and CGI I’m nothing!
SUPERHERO-SANTA
You’re the most popular superhero in the world. Please. Let Emily go.
MR. ASTONISHING
No. Grant me my wish. Make me a real superhero. Give me real superhero powers! I want to have superhuman strength! I want to shoot energy beams from my fingertips! I want to fly!
TEAM SANTA shake their heads, and move forward to stop him.
SUPERHERO-SANTA pushes TEAM SANTA back.
EMILY slips down, her shirt stretching to the breaking point.
MR. ASTONISHING stares coldly at SUPERHERO-SANTA.
SUPERHERO SANTA closes his eyes.
The ground rumbles, a bright white light flashes, illuminating his face.
EMILY
No, Santa! Don’t do it!
A small PRESENT with a single red ribbon appears in MR. ASTONISHING’S hand. MR. ASTONISHING peers at it incredulously, but then slowly pulls on the ribbon, and opens the PRESENT.
We don’t see inside, but MR. ASTONISHING looks surprised as a BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT emanates from the open PRESENT, illuminating MR. ASTONISHING.
CLOSE UP of MR. ASTONISHING’S eyes as they open wide.
PULL BACK reveals burst of light shining from MR. ASTONISHING as he rises slowly into the air, glowing brightly.
SUPERHERO-SANTA collapses.
EMILY screams as MR. ASTONISHING tosses her onto the ground next to SUPERHERO-SANTA. EMILY hugs SUPERHERO-SANTA, who slowly comes-to.
MR. ASTONISHING rises up off the ground, his body still glowing, his muscles growing.
MR. ASTONISHING
This feels, soooooo good.
NANO-GAL
(waving to TEAM SANTA)
Run! Save the children!
NANO-GAL grows rapidly, and rushes toward MR. ASTONISHING, who blasts her unconscious with a single energy burst from his little finger, blowing the smoke off it like a gun.
NANO-GAL plummets and shrinks back to her usual size.
ELF rushes over.
TEAM SANTA tries to attack, dodging energy bursts that strike the walls, shaking the building.
SUPERHERO-SANTA
Time to go!
ELF
I’m not leaving her!
Rocks and debris fall as TEAM SANTA scrambles, unable to subdue MR. ASTONISHING, who taunts them with flight patterns and energy blasts as they rush toward the door.
As the roof collapses in, TEAM SANTA make it out as an energy burst follows them up the spiral stairs and back into the mansion, bellowing laughter taunting them.
EXT. BEVERLY HILLS MANSION, OVERHEAD SHOT
JOULUPUKKI’S-SLEIGH leaves the street and rises up into the sky, TEAM SANTA on board, RUDOLF leading the charge, his red nose glowing brightly.
Moments later the roof of the mansion is blown open as MR. ASTONISHING bursts out, blasting the mansion to bits as he ascends rapidly, chasing TEAM SANTA.
MR. ASTONISHING chases TEAM SANTA across and through major US landmarks, people on the ground watching MR. ASTONISHING blast energy bursts in LAS VEGAS, THE GRAND CANYON, ST. LOUIS, CHICAGO, and NEW YORK CITY.
A blast hits and disorients RUDOLF, sending JOULUPUKKI’S-SLEIGH down.
EXT — WASHINGTON, DC, BY CAPITOL CHRISTMAS TREE
JOULUPUKKI’S-SLEIGH spirals down and around the CAPITOL CHRISTMAS TREE.
Hundreds of people see MR. ASTONISHING fly in after them, still blasting away.
MR. ASTONISHING fires on the base of the CHRISTMAS TREE, knocking out the power and causing it to sway and start to fall.
Parents grab children and flee from the falling TREE.
One CHILD is left behind during the rush, sitting watching.
TEAM SANTA bank back in toward the falling TREE and fly into its path, managing to hold it up just before it falls on top of the CHILD.
TEAM SANTA’S arms are up and holding the TREE, as MR. ASTONISHING hovers nearby.
MR. ASTONISHING
Night, night.
MR. ASTONISHING lifts an arm, ready to blast TEAM SANTA at point blank range when the CROWD below starts BOOING him.
KID #1
You’re no superhero!
KID #2
Yeah, you’re a coward!
KID #3
Don’t touch Santa!
KID #4
He’s our real hero!
MR. ASTONISHING
Ha! Whatever.
BOOS as MR. ASTONISHING fires away, only this time nothing comes from his finger. He shakes his hand, tries again.
BOOING continues even louder as MR. ASTONISHING starts to lose altitude and balance, wobbling uncontrollably.
MR. ASTONISHING
Oh, oh.
MR. ASTONISHING plummets erratically toward the ground, landing with a splash in the pool by the Lincoln Memorial.
Hundreds of KIDS around the pool mock him.
TEAM SANTA lifts the CAPITOL CHRISTMAS TREE back into place, ornaments lighting back up in a spiral from base all the way to top, where the big star blazes brightly again.
The saved CHILD gives them a big “thumbs up” as the CROWD bursts into a enormous CHEER.
Fireworks explode in the sky.
EXT — INSIDE THE POOL
MR. ASTONISHING sits in the POOL, shaking from the cold. A frog jumps on top of his head.
FROG
Ribbit! Ribbit!
EXT — RUBBLE OF BEVERLY HILLS MANSION
Fireworks blaze above as ELF walks out of the rubble carrying a full-sized NANO-GAL.
ELF sees the fireworks and a tear rolls down a cheek. NANO-GAL pops open an eye.
NANO-GAL
Aw, that’s so sweet!
ELF almost drops her. NANO-GAL gets on her feet, holds his hand, and shrinks to his same size.
NANO-GAL
Thank you. You granted my wish.
With the fireworks going off in the background, ELF and NANO-GAL kiss in silhouette.
EXT — CAPITOL CHRISTMAS TREE
TEAM SANTA and SUPERHERO-SANTA stand in front of the large Christmas tree.
SUPERHERO-SANTA extends both arms.
SUPERHERO-SANTA
Bless you, my brothers. Bless you Emily and Tommy. Thank you for saving me.
(looks at TOMMY and EMILY)
Tommy, Emily. What would you like for Christmas? Make a wish!
TOMMY is about to speak, but EMILY beats him to it.
EMILY
I think we’ve already got plenty of toys this year, Santa. How about we give you a gift?
EMILY nods to TEAM SANTA, and SAMURAI SANTA approaches holding a box, calls-out, bows, and extends the gift.
SUPERHERO-SANTA takes the gift.
SUPERHERO-SANTA
Wow, guys. Nobody’s ever given me a gift before.
EMILY
Go ahead. Open it up!
SUPERHERO-SANTA pulls the ribbon, opens the box, looks inside, his face flushing with recognition and emotion.
SUPERHERO-SANTA
Thank you. This is the best Christmas present I can imagine.
CLOSE UP of SUPERHERO-SANTA buckling his belt.
PULL BACK reveals SANTA wearing his conventional outfit, pulling on his gloves, putting on his red and white cap.
SANTA smiles.
TEAM SANTA, TOMMY and EMILY all cheer.
SANTA bows.
EMILY runs up and gives SANTA a big hug.
SANTA
(into camera)
Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas!
— FIN —
CREDITS…
VIGNETTE #1 — CAPITOL CHRISTMAS TREE
PAPÁ NOEL waves to the crowd.
PAPÁ NOEL
Feliz Navidad!
(waves, looks about)
Feliz Navidad!
MEXICAN ELVES with big bags pour out of the trunk and bolt.
VIGNETTE #2 — BACK IN JAMAICA
RASTA SANTA lies on a beach chair by the ocean, listening to reggae music, smoking his pipe.
RASTA SANTA exhales thick puff of smoke.
We follow the puff high into the air, where it forms stylized letters.
M E R R Y
C H R I S T M A S
VIGNETTE #3 — HIGH-END PARIS RESTAURANT
PERE NOEL sits with dozens of FEMALE FRENCH ELVES. On the table is haute cuisine: fine cheeses, breads, and meats. In the background is the Paris skyline.
PERE NOEL lifts an American fast food cheeseburger from his plate, and takes a big bite.
PERE NOEL chews contentedly.
PERE NOEL
C’ést magnifique!
VIGNETTE #4 — OUTTAKES OF SAMURAI SANTA BLOOPERS
INT — LAVA ROOM IN MANSION
SAMURAI SANTA slips while doing a flying kick against MR. ASTONISHING.
DIRECTOR (V.O.)
Cut!
EXT — IN FRONT OF JOULUPPUKKI’S HOUSE
SAMURAI SANTA reaches over to strike misbehaving NINJA ELF, but strikes PAPÁ NOEL by mistake.
DIRECTOR (V.O.)
Cut!
EXT — CAPITOL CHRISTMAS TREE
SAMURAI SANTA approaches holding a box, calls-out, bows, and extends the gift.
SUPERHERO-SANTA takes the gift.
SUPERHERO-SANTA
Wow, guys. Nobody’s ever given me a gift before.
EMILY
Go ahead. Open it up!
SUPERHERO-SANTA pulls the ribbon, opens the box, looks inside, his face flushing with recognition and emotion.
SUPERHERO-SANTA
Thank you. This is the best Christmas present I can imagine.
CLOSE UP of SUPERHERO-SANTA removing MR. ASTONISHING action figure.
DIRECTOR (V.O.)
Cut!
EVERYONE on the set laughs.
SAMURAI SANTA angrily looks about.
JOULUPPUKKI grins.
VIGNETTE #5 — BACK AT THE NORTH POLE WORKSHOP
WORKER ELVES are re-employed and very busy.
ELF walks by MR. ASTONISHING, dressed as an Elf, sitting in an undersized chair, carving a little toy.
ELF
What are you workin’ on?
MR. ASTONISHING
It’s not ready yet…
ELF
Come on, let me see!
MR. ASTONISHING sheepishly gives ELF the toy.
ELF
Not bad! Not bad!
MR. ASTONISHING contentedly goes back to work.
ELF heads through WORKSHOP, hears heavy rock music coming from SANTA’S BEDROOM. ELF enters.
SANTA is jamming on an electric guitar, playing a heavy metal version of a Christmas favorite.
SANTA notices ELF.
SANTA
What?!
ELF shakes his head.
VIGNETTE #6 — RUBBLE OF BEVERLY HILLS MANSION. NEXT DAY, MORNING
AGENT paces back and forth in the remains of the mansion, mumbling to himself and angrily kicking debris aside.
AGENT
(to himself)
All my clients, gone… All my business, down the drain… All my contacts,
lost…
AGENT kicks a particular large brick, which doesn’t budge, but does make him wince and limp in obvious pain.
AGENT
Ouch!
AGENT sobs, looks down and notices something on the ground.
CLOSE UP of game controller, scorched but recognizable.
AGENT picks up the game controller, and brushes it off.
AGENT presses big red button, and car alarm sound beeps.
Moment later ground begins to rumble, bricks falling.
MEDIAFRENZY bursts out of the ground, tentacles writhing, monitors flashing chaotic images.
MEDIAFRENZY rises up completely, cabin door invitingly opening for the AGENT.
AGENT looks up at MEDIAFRENZY, then looks right at the camera.
AGENT winks then does big, booming EVIL LAUGH.
Original illustrations…
