Long Island Railroad GPS
The amazing conversations continue as I try to help a resident take a bold leap and commute into Manhattan
Twenty-sixth in a series of conversations I had with Long Islanders, this one taking place as we watched our kids play at the school’s soccer field, my chat with a neighbor who was born, raised, and continues to live and work in Carle Place, approximately 22 miles due east of Manhattan:
Mookie: Your kid Joey is hustling today!
Irene: Youse call dat hustlin? He moves fasta to and from da frigerator.
Mookie: About being motivated, I guess.
Irene: Yeah, like dem parents on da opposin team. Dey act like maniacs.
Mookie: I fear for the lives of their children.
Irene: All dat yellin and cussin! Drives me nuts.
Mookie: I don’t think anyone is paying any attention.
Irene: Yellin louder ain’t gonna help, that’s fer sure.
Mookie: What?
Irene: YELLIN LOUDER AIN’T GONNA — ha ha ha, youse pretty funny.
Mookie: Tell that do my kids.
Irene: Hey. Youse mind if I aks youse somethin?
Mookie: Sure, go right ahead.
Irene: Youse work in da city, right?
Mookie: Every damn day.
Irene: Den maybe youse can help me?
Mookie: Depends on what for, but I’ll try.
Irene: Dere’s a food tastin festval in Lil Itly tomorra.
Mookie: Sounds like fun!
Irene: How do we gets dere?
Mookie: Excuse me?
Irene: Cab would cost too much, right? An I’ve never used a Booger.
Mookie: Uber?
Irene: Dat, neither.
Mookie: Where are you trying to get to Little Italy from? Carle Place?
Irene: Yeah.
Mookie: No problem. The train to Manhattan is only five minutes walk from right here.
Irene: Lung Eyelund Rail Road? Dat works to get dere?
Mookie: Last I checked.
Irene: So what do we do?
Mookie: Walk to the station.
Irene: And?
Mookie: Get on the next train that says “New York”.
Irene: Den?
Mookie: The LIRR will take you right to Penn Station.
Irene: What if we misses it?
Mookie: It’s the last stop.
Irene: Den what?
Mookie: The easiest way from there is to transfer at Penn Station to the A, C, or E train.
Irene: Dose are LIRR?
Mookie: No, that’s the New York Subway.
Irene: People get massacred dere!
Mookie: Trust me, you’ll be OK.
Irene: Youse sure?
Mookie: I haven’t been killed yet.
Irene: Yet!
Mookie: Take one of those to 4th Street.
Irene: We get off dere?
Mookie: Sure. Then just start walking east.
Irene: How far?
Mookie: Keep moving toward the garlic smell.
Irene: Why are dey all togedder?
Mookie: What’s all together?
Irene: Da A, C, an E? Why all tree? Dey one train or sevral?
Mookie: Just get on any one of them, going south.
Irene: Uptown or downtown?
Mookie: South. Downtown. Look for the blue circles.
Irene: I ate at Carmine’s twenny years ago!
Mookie: Don’t worry, I think the spumoni has since been refreshed.
Irene: Oh, tank Gawd!
Mookie: Good luck.
Irene: Can I call youse if we get lost?
Mookie: Sure. But only if you promise to bring back something good.
Irene: I’m not eatin nuthin over by dere. My aunt went last year, and got food poisonings.
Mookie: Make the kids try it first.
Irene: Good idea! I knew youse could help.
Mookie: Have fun.
Irene: I won’t.
Mookie: Goal!
Irene: Wrong team.
Mookie: I like to celebrate every success.
Irene: Are you a communist?
Mookie: Only on Saturday.
Irene: Tank Gawd for dat, too!
More colorful characters from Carle Place, Long Island…
