Life & Writing Lessons
Finally figuring it out after all these years
Sometimes, you’ve just gotta take the plunge…
Most meaningful life lessons are simple and obvious, but hard to learn.
That’s because most meaningful accomplishments in life are simple and obvious, but hard to do.
In my case, I always wanted to write The Great American Science Fiction Novel.
Although I’ve been writing continuously for decades, I wasn’t satisfied with any style, or any story.
Far as storytelling went, I was plagued by the most common problem, especially for sci-fi writers: concepts above characters.
After countless fits and starts, multiple formats, voices, and narrative arcs, I hit on it.
End of 2020, the pandemic was still in full swing, and the lockdowns provided unique focus.
I was standing in my tiny kitchen in Stuytown on the Lower East Side, and the epiphany struck:
A swindler accidentally constructs a device that actually transports him to another Universe.
His name popped into my head equally spontaneously, homage to an Italian bartender I knew in the 90s.
“Hey, Mooks!” he’d shout, a handsome Neanderthal. “Last night I got my fazoolie shined!”
Pretty soon I was saying fazoolie-this, fazoolie-that. On the bar’s marquee I posted:
HOOCH YOUR FAZOOLIE
The landline rang off the hook all weekend long, everyone wanting their fazoolie hooched.
Voila, Johnny Fazoolie was born, a protagonist with a cool name, embodying my worst characteristics.
Another struggle I endured for decades is the arbitrariness of writing. How many words are necessary?
I called this The Altitude Problem of Prose: which level of detail is just right for each scene?
That begged the question of the endless choices writers make at every level, from syntax to semantics.
Writer’s are also whiplashed by the feeling that everything worthwhile has already been written.
The overall result is often analysis paralysis, another name for writers’ block, the blank page terrifying.
Whereas “Johnny Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine” arrived in a blink, its style slowly evolved.
For years I’d also been blogging, and fell into an OCD habit of writing visually.
By that I mean each paragraph had to be three, four, or five complete lines long.
The exact letter and word counts varied with serifed fonts that kerned, but I didn’t care.
Beginning as a whim, I gradually realized that my self-imposed rule solved my Altitude Problem.
My prose couldn’t be entirely arbitrary in length, because each paragraph could have only X lines.
So I had to complete every singular description, scenario, or thought in those X lines.
I wrote and rewrote these paragraphs several times, sometimes dozens of times, to make it fit.
That forced me to be as concise as possible, allowing not an extraneous idea or word.
The zany approach also forced me to decide if that paragraph was enough for that part of the story.
If not, then I would get another X lines in the next paragraph to keep going, rinse repeat.
Badda-bing, badda-boom! In one fell swoop I solved all my creative writing problems.
My science fiction story had a cool narrative, self-effacing antihero with a cool name, and a cool style.
Check! Check! Check! For the first time in decades, I knew I had finally struck creative gold.
The short story here was written in less than two weeks, pouring onto the keyboard:
Notice the paragraphs, each roughly the same length. In my work-in-progress Gdoc for the novel, each is three full lines.
Originally meant as a blog series, interrupted by life, work, blogging, and another book, Fazoolie’s back.
I’ve been fully dedicated for months, spending every minute of free time on it, and making time when I don’t have it.
Which gets me to my initial comment about meaningful accomplishments being hard to do:
EVEN THOUGH at along last I have the protagonist, story, and style I always wanted, and
EVEN THOUGH at long last I learned last year how to complete a 100K+ word novel and publish it, and
EVEN THOUGH at long last I have the relentless determination and discipline to work 10+ hours a day, and
EVEN THOUGH at long last I feel that the momentum of the Universe is behind me, and
EVEN THOUGH at long last I feel that my life makes sense and this is my true will and calling, and
EVEN THOUGH at long last I have an awesome creative partner to illustrate and inspire me, and
EVEN THOUGH at long last I’m letting nothing get in my way and am confident I’ll soon get it done, and
EVEN THOUGH at long last I’m fully immersed in the devotional process of writing with no distractions, and
EVEN THOUGH at long last I honestly don’t give a shit what will or won’t happen after we publish —
The entire, day-to-day, night-to-night process is INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT, to the point of total exhaustion.
And THAT, dear Reader, is the balls-to-the-wall, bare-knuckle demand of any meaningful accomplishment.
And THAT is my simple and obvious life lesson — completion demands zero short cuts, and infinite commitment.
No wonder it took me so long to figure this out. Intelligence and creativity alone don’t do shit.
GRIT is what’s required, and endless manic sweaty late night early morning wagon loads of it.
I’d ask for you to wish me luck, but to paraphrase Alex Van Halen: “I don’t need no stinkin’ luck!”
Instead, if you’re interested in what erupts out of this crazy crucible, be on the look out for the novel this September.
Along the way, I’ll share samples of Rusty’s amazing ink splash, caricatured illustrations.
And after publishing, we’d love to hear your candid feedback. We won’t listen, of course, and just write more books…
We appreciate your support for SUPER SANTA, and can’t wait to share THE LOVERS’ GUIDE TO THE INFINIVERSE.
Ain’t making new things grand? If you believe in God, imagine what that mofo endured creating the whole Universe.
And if you don’t believe in God, imagine the implications of an infnite Infiniverse, everything possible also real…
