Johnny Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine

Mookie Spitz
34 min readJan 27, 2021

What a guy will do to try and get a date.

Embracing the Impossible

Johnny Fazoolie had the knack for being the wrong guy at the right place at the right time. Half big genius and half bullshit artist, he was so slick people couldn’t tell the difference.

His scam was starting startup companies based on amazing concepts that investors couldn’t resist. Only problem was the concepts were so amazing that he never delivered a final product.

The more outlandish the concept, the more enthralling his sales pitch. Notorious for his biodegradable sex toy line and artificially stupid robotic assistant, Johnny was a legend.

“What’s the point of doing a deal if you don’t have any fun?” said Johnny at the start and close of every opportunity. “Then people will tell their friends: ‘That guy didn’t have any fun.’”

No one ever doubted Johnny enjoyed himself, investors instead worried about getting their money back. Despite all the companies dying on the vine, his portfolio bloomed like poisonous weeds.

Johnny lived large, with nobody in charge. Everybody’s attention span diminishing, the everyday speed of life finally caught up to Johnny’s ADHD, transforming a vagabond into a visionary.

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Mookie Spitz

Author and communications strategist. His latest book SUPER SANTA is available on Amazon, with a sci fi adventure set for Valentine's Day 2024.