Friends Lost & Found Again

The forces that bring us together, tear us apart, and help us learn about ourselves

Friends either complement or mirror each other: differences drive dynamic energy, and similarities generate familiarity and comfort, yin and yang.

A balanced combination of both creates a lasting bond. F. and I ran hundreds of miles throughout New York City, our endless selfies frequently appearing as nostalgic reminders.

As is often the case, a five minute disagreement destroyed five years of friendship. Perhaps the bond was always frail, or maybe our clock just ran down.

Remembering relationships of all types can become maudlin, but I tend to look back with a warm smile. Our companions were revealing reflections of ourselves.

Close connections also provide life lessons, if we care to learn from them. Taking full ownership of past experiences sheds light and improves on present ones.

Another profound benefit is the realization that good, bad, or indifferent, things simply kind of happen to us, and we more or less haphazardly happen within them.

I met a Taiwanese woman in Amsterdam decades ago who told me about “chi” energy between people, how we’re all destined since birth to meet those we do.

Maybe she used that idea as a flirty ice breaker, she was a messenger from the Universe, or both. “Good chi, bad chi,” she taught me. “Big chi, small chi.”

Usually looking forward, not backward, I sometimes like to reminisce. As a writer, the emotions explode onto the page. As a human, it warms my heart.

The true test of personal freedom is to live unburdened by regret, regardless of outcome. Accepting chi as destiny releases us from judgment, helps us embrace the now.